When my brother Niel and I were young, we begged our parents for a dog. After finally wearing them down, they said “yes” and my lifelong love affair with dogs began. My experience is that dogs are great givers of unconditional love. However, had you asked me about cats, I probably would have said what many people typically say. “I’m not a cat person.”
Then my daughter Lani moved home with her dog Gunnar, (who I already adored), and her two cats. This happened while I was away from Toronto in the depths of winter. Although I knew I was coming home to a houseful of new adventures, I honestly was not fully prepared.
She reported that Jack (the older one at two) was hiding under the couch…all the time. The little guy Jinx, (just over a year old), the daredevil of the two, was exploring his new-found freedom in my two story home, sprinting up and down the stairs, even leaping from pretty scary heights off the top landing to the level below. All this, during the middle of the night. The truth is that cats like to sleep all day, waking up during the hours when we humans are hoping to sleep. None of this sounded at all appealing to me.
It’s interesting, as I began to reflect a little more, I wasn’t really sure why I was “not a cat person.” I’m not knowingly allergic to them. Other than a rogue black cat who darted across my path one time, I’ve never had an unpleasant encounter with one. And, to be honest, I’ve never really had much interaction with cats at all.
Cat Myths Abound
Cat stereotypes abound. Cats are aloof and loners. Or mean-spirited and sneaky, not to be trusted. Anytime I’d visit someone with cats, well frankly, the cats weren’t around too much. Seemed the outdoor cats preferred to be out exploring and hunting prey. Indoor cats found their preferred nooks and crannies to lounge in, keeping to themselves, coming and going as they pleased.
After several weeks of disrupted sleep, listening to them come alive in the dead of night, I officially became a convert. A fully transformed cat person. Watching these two guys gives me great pleasure, as they each display their own unique and charming personalities. Although they don’t show love in the same way as dogs, they still have their own ways of expressing it. And seeing them not only brings me joy but makes me laugh. They’re both entertaining and fascinating, offering me wonderful moments of escape from life’s daily stresses.
This personal experience had me thinking how easy it is to form preconceived ideas about things in our lives. Even before we give them a chance and try them. It got me wondering, how does our resistance to something, based on something we heard, or some fear we have, rob us of new opportunities before we even begin? Sometimes we stop ourselves from being open to explore something new, based on someone reporting their experiences.
We often form preconceived ideas about things, even before we try them! #experience #cats Click To TweetWhat do People Most Regret
That got me curious to see what came up when I searched for stats on people’s regrets. The first thing that appeared was that a lot of people (more than 1/3) who got tattoos, regret it after. That’s probably a whole other article. Although, if you’re thinking of getting a tattoo and haven’t yet, you’ve officially been forewarned. And for those who already have tattoos, congrats on following your heart’s desire on that one.
Based on questions asked of people on their death beds by palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware, number one on the list of the top five things that came up repeatedly was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” That speaks volumes to me. How many of us can relate to this in some way in our own lives? Regardless of our age, we might have to admit to ourselves that there’s something that stops us from living the life we want, settling for the life someone else wants for us.
When I was critically ill, (a topic I write about in my book Confessions of a Middle-Aged Hippie), it became crystal clear to me that our dreams are too precious not to pursue. Especially when we’re compromising to fit others expectations of us, or doing the right thing according to someone other than ourselves. Having regrets at some point later in life, when we might no longer have an option, sabotages not only ourselves but what we have to offer the world as well.
The top 5 regrets people have all begin with 'I Wish I' #regrets #experienceClick To TweetI Wish I…
It’s interesting that the other four most common regrets were also prefaced by the words “I wish.” These first two are ones many of us can relate to. “I wish I didn’t work so hard. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.” Do these resonate with you? These are worth contemplating as well. “I wish I had stayed in touch with friends. I wish I’d allowed myself to be happier.”
This last one intrigued me. Especially as there’s so much attention given to our desire to live happy lives by doing what makes us happy. Yet, we humans can get stuck in old patterns and habits that don’t serve us anymore. Some deep-seated fear of change, has us pretending we’re fulfilled and content, leaving us longing for more fun and happiness in life.
Writing about my now 101-year-old mother, who truly appears to have no regrets and has lived a very happy life, made me realize that life is too short not to, (as a favorite Gaping Void cartoon so perfectly puts it) “shine your light on the world“. We have the choice in every moment to create the life we want to live.
Living Happy Lives
With the 24/7 stream of information overload to distract us, it’s easy to get caught up in perpetual overwhelm, losing touch with what does make us happy. Cloud watching has always been one of my favourite all-time happy making things to do. Now I can add another. Watching the captivating behavior of my house guests, as what my cat men do, brings great wonder and happiness to my life.
As a grateful confirmed cat lover, I’ll suggest that before you knock something, (whatever that is in life), try it! Dare to live your passions and dreams. And to my dear mother who claims she is “not a cat person” (maybe I got that from her), I’ll have to tell her she doesn’t realize what she’s missing. I wouldn’t want that to become her first regret this late in life!
What’s your preference — cats, dogs or both?
Hi Beverley,
Thanks for sharing such a great article. Your expression of thought is very beautiful. keep posting like this.
Thanks so much for your love of animals as well!
Thanks Ahsan! I appreciate you reading and commenting. I see you are also a dog lover…and cat lover too!
I have never been a dog or cat fan. I got bitten by a dog twice.
Happiness books have always been interesting for me. I do not know if you have seen the movie Hector and the Search for Happiness. I recommend it. I do not think there is no sense of regretting. You can only enjoy and maximize every moment.
I think many people who get bitten by a dog have a challenge getting over that later in life, Lorii! It is possible though. Thanks for recommending the movie, Hector and the Search for Happiness, as I haven’t seen it. I see that people do have regrets later in life and your attitude of enjoying and maximizing every moment, is a healthy way to live.
I’m not a cat person either. I’m allergic, but I think I could be if I could tolerate being around them. I enjoy trying new things so long as they won’t kill me. I have a healthy sense of self-preservation. 🙂
I thought I was allergic to cats as well, Jennifer, but once they were here, I have actually been okay. It’s great that you are adventurous and trying things that challenge you but still assuring you are safe. I am a lot like you that way. 🙂
I’m not really an animal person, i don’t think that means my soul isn’t fully awakened though.
Some people just aren’t really animal people and that’s ok 🙂
There are many ways to awaken our souls, Sonya. Animals are definitely one of them in my own experience. Enjoy yours. 🙂
As I quickly approach 50, I’ve become more aware of my regrets and find myself a bit stressed out trying to make my dreams happen. My preconceived ideas and myths are probably the worst about myself! I’ve spent a lot of time over the past year battling my own mindset and shifting my beliefs about myself–which is a good thing since now I can take that off the list of potential regrets! As for cats, I’m a dog person, mostly because I’m allergic to cats. Truth be told, I love all animals. 😉
It sounds like you are highly aware of the ares of your life where you might have regrets, Meghan. I hear the stress you are feeling, but it sounds like you making strides to make sure you tick those potential regrets off your list. I was a dog person too and still am, but have to admit that cats are pure joy! I thought I was allergic to them too, but have been okay since they moved in. Like you, I love all animals! 🙂
OMG. I love that quote by Anatole France. And of course I am a cat person. Every day of my life I marvel at the joy this little bundle brings me. Glad you became a convert.
Now to the other topic of regrets and pre-conceived ideas. My life is a full one. I have spent many of those years being defined by my success in business. Now as I have an opportunity to shed those definitions, I want to decide what I want as a person, not as a breadwinner. Very interesting that I have now been given this chance to take another leap in a new direction.
Thanks Alene! I love the quote too and am happily now a cat convert. I adore them and am so grateful for the experience of knowing them. I agree with you that they are little bundles of joy…every day. It’s lovely to hear that your life is full. When we look back and see how we were and how we are now, it is often very freeing to feel we have ben given an opportunity to leap forward in a new direction.
I don’t have my tattoo (though I finally picked it out this week) – or my nose ring yet. I do like cats. I grew up scared of cats and my children wanted pets. We had bunnies, dogs, hamsters and cats. The first cat was my daughters and I went down after we gave it to her and I thought it was growling at me – she was purring. After that I found out that cats have delightful personalities and they scare mice away – we’ve rescued cats and we’ve had cats come to us. We even had a cat in the loft of our garage who gave birth and my daughter named them all after car models. I took them to the humane society and my daughter went and bought them back. Anyway – I got off track – I’m going to get a tattoo this year too – nothing big – but boy will it be a surprise to my family. I’m not a big fan of pain, I’ll need to talk to a couple people before I get that nose ring.
Love your courage to go forward with both a tattoo and a nose ring, Cathy! Brave lady if you do go through with them. I also love your history with cats and how your relationship with them has woven through your life. It sounds like there is a lot of cat energy in your life! And, I think your tattoo will be a big surprise for your family. My daughter has several tattoos, although I am not at all a fan of them. Good luck with your plans…we wouldn’t want any regrets in life if possible!
There is a special feeling to give to another – whether it be animal or human – knowing they completely depend on you for their everything. It raises you to a higher standard or at least that is my experience. Being needed fulfills my need to be needed.. 🙂 Nice read Beverley.
Lovely, Teresa. I agree that when we give to another living being, whether a human or an animal, we receive as much back in return. It does offer us an expression of our humanity. Glad you enjoyed this piece too. Thank you. 🙂
Beverley,
This is geat article and you know how I feel about animals. I truly love all animals especially cats. I love the article because you spoke about regrets of life and how I talked to people who said before they were dying, i didn’t spend enough time with family or I didn’t live my passion, it made me think of important it is to love others and when I write this I don’t want any regrets. I tell the people I love them and I share my heart with my animals Thank You for your wonderful article and friendship.
What a beautiful expression of your love for animals and for people, Lori. I agree with you, that we do need to show our love and that is one way that we will live fully and not have any regrets in life!
I love all creatures but I’m allergic to cats so I never got to pet them. Cats are awesome. They are anti-social assholes who couldn’t care less. This is why they are awesome. They are also ridiculously cute.
Very interesting observations about cats from you. My daughter’s two cats are so sweet and yet I’ve heard a lot of stories about cats who are…exactly as you describe them. Too bad your allergies stop you from experiencing cats up close and personal, as like humans, they are all very different from the other. Thanks for stopping by and commenting too! Yes, they are ridiculously cute.
Nicely said! One of the things I ask my coaching clients is: “Is this true or a story you’re telling yourself?” Lots of times we incorporate stories we’ve been told by others when we were kids and just keep blindly accepting them. BTW, I’m a cat person, as you know. Grew up with dogs but found cats to much less troublesome!
Thanks for being someone who helps others cut through their well crafted “stories” to uncover their own truths, Jackie. It is interesting how people define what they believe, based on someone else’s experience. And yes, you are definitely a cat person and I know how much joy and entertainment they bring you. I totally get that, even though I am also a dog person from way back!
Hi Beverley, another great article! I don’t consider myself a cat person – however, as much as I LOVE dogs – I don’t like the responsibility they require; a cat is self contained. I can go away for a few days without worrying about the cat; I leave an extra dish of food and water; a clean litterbox and the weekend is mine. However, once we had one of each and now we do not, we miss both of them terribly. When I was younger, we had two cats and they LOVED to tear around the house about 11 PM, like clockwork. When I divorced and had my own cat; he’d come sit next to me on the couch and stare at me as if he was saying, “It’s time for you to go to bed and get out of my spot.” He’d also wake me in the AM by sitting on my chest with his paw on my nose. I miss him too. Both animals have lots of personality and love – and as you said, they show it in different ways.
Love hearing about the various cats you’ve had in your life, Tamara. Sounds like you’ve always had animals around and you’ve had the opportunity to experience both cats and dogs. Yes, dogs require a lot more work, although they also offer their own kind of rewards. This is my first time having cats and I must say, I agree with you about their self-contained nature and their individual personalities. I’ve also heard female cats are more challenging than male cats and as we have two males, they seem to have no “mood” issues and actually love each other as brothers, even though they are not. I really appreciate you sharing your own experiences, as it is so interesting to hear how different people have had different relationships with both cats and dogs.
Hi Beverley,
Love this post! You do have a gift with words. I am both a cat and dog person. Unfortunately, two of my children and a niece are extremely allergic to cats and most dogs. If I could, we would get a dog.
Thank you for sharing this delightful story and the inspiration
Thanks so much Robin! I really appreciate your kind words about my writing. That makes it all worthwhile. It is too bad that your chidden and niece are allergic to both cats and dogs, as it is so wonderful to have a pet in our lives to show us what unconditional love feels and looks like. Especially from dogs. I hope one day in your life you get to have your own dog and experience how amazing they are. Thanks again for sharing your cat and dog preferences.
Hi Beverley,
Great article! I am not really a pet person but in the past I preferred cats over dogs. I’m wondering if it has to do with me being more if an introvert? Your article allowed me to reflect on this. I refuse to live a life filled with regrets. I am a big fan of doing something that scares you everyday and yes, that included petting dogs..lol!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on pets with us Sharise. It is interesting how many people have a fear of dogs, which generally comes from some early in life experience. Cats are definitely less threatening, although not necessarily as cuddly and loving. Congrats on reflecting on what stops you from being a pet person, and hopefully after petting dogs a few times, you’ll become a convert! 😉
Hi Beverley,
I am so a cat person lol When I read your title I said to myself oh oh Beverley does not like cats 😉
Ever since I can remember I have had cats. I am so happy to know that you actually DO like cats…..They are the most independent animals that I have seen and enjoy the fact that I do not have to take my 2 outside to go lol
I really enjoyed your post 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing!!
Glad I caught you a bit off guard with this title, Joan. And hopefully the article made the point that we often have preconceived ideas about things without even having our own experience of them. Interesting how we humans often don’t dare to jump into new experiences and yet are quick to judge from afar. I totally get why you are a cat person and I agree they are independent, yet still so entertaining and for me at least, bring smiles and joy every day. And yes, not having to take them out for walks daily is definitely one of the pluses. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your own love of cats with us all.
Love this article Beverley. I’ve had cats most of my life. We only stopped after the last died several years ago because we have attracted so many beautiful native birds into our yard and we feel responsible for their well being. It’s fascinating how our perceptions can change so dramatically. I try to live a happy and meaningful life that will leave me with few regrets at the end. Crazy that we have to ‘try’ and live a happy life – it should come naturally but I think we just get distracted and caught up in other people’s expectations.
So happy to hear you’ve had a life long experience with cats, Tamuria, as now that they have come into my life, I can see how wonderful they are. It sounds lovely to hear you are attracting native birds and honouring them. These birds are offering you a new experience, one that I sense represents their freedom to come and go and still bring beauty to wherever they are. I agree with you that it does seem crazy to live our lives to please someone else or conform to someone else’s desires for us, as this surely leads to regrets later in life. I love your attitude of living and enjoying and not “trying” to be anything other than who you are in that moment.
In rereading I realize I did not grow up with any pets and only had dogs because my children asked for them. My last dog, Kippy- a full grown Collie was special and will always be in my heart. I loved walking her, even in the cold winter months & can’t convince hubby we need a dog so I can walk regularly.
It is always interesting to hear how “pets” come into our lives, Roslyn. My brother and I had a dog as younger children and then we also got one for our daughter when she was about 8 or 9. Then when Stinky died in 2001, I wasn’t open to another pet, until Lani moved home and ow I have inherited two cats and a dog and love everything about them. I think a dog is a wonderful companion and would be a great prompter for you to walk more. They are a lot of work and do cost a lot too, so I understand Herb’s hesitancy as well.
Interesting Beverley, when I was growing up, we only had cats. Mum was an ardent cat lover and refused to have a dog in the household. The cats we had were more mums than anyone else and were always aloof except with her.
In my 20’s and 30’s I considered myself a cat person (had a couple over this period) and was not at all interested in dogs. I considered dogs to be too needed and high maintenance is comparison.
Fast forward to today and we have no cats and a great dog! I now consider myself to be a dog person and I do not think I will get another cat. To me, the unconditional love you get from a dog far outweighs the difference in effort you need to put into their care and well being.
Love hearing how you’ve gone from cats to dog and maybe back to including a cat again, Ian. I imagine when the cats were more your mother’s, you wouldn’t have the same experience as when they are your own. Cats are simply entertaining and enjoyable all the time, with much less maintenance than dogs for sure. I have always been a dog person myself, so having this later in life experience with cats, is priceless. If I had to choose, I would probably got with a dog first, although it is a tough call now. How do you choose? Each of them offers something so different. Yes, dogs are much more loving and affectionate and I agree, the effort definitely outweighs the care they require. Thanks so much for sharing your own experiences with both cats and dogs!
They’ve now begun to take pets to old folks home just to give them some thing to hug, doing a lot of good. ! Great post Bev.
It is amazing how positive pets can be for all ages of people Norma. Especially seeing how wonderful they are for seniors in brining warmth and love. Glad you enjoyed this one too!
That’s a good question. I like both really, but I think dogs are easier to maintain. So I guess that makes me a dog lover.
That’s an interesting observation, Steffy. Because I have a dog and two cats here now, I think depending on the dog, they might actually be higher maintenance than some cats. Thanks for sharing and for reading. The debate goes on! Dogs or cats…
I wasn’t very much of a pet person at all until we got our dog. Of course, he is now considered a family member 🙂
Going back to your comment about stereotypes, I cannot agree more that we seem to take (or not take) many decisions based on them, which is not always the best thing, but it is what it is.
Funny how the addition of a dog to the mix, and they immediately become like family, Delia. 🙂 And yes, we often make judgements about things in our lives, before we have any experience of them. Interesting how once we have the experience our perspective can change. It is something all us human beings tend to do, yet we do have the choice to take a chance and expand our horizons. It is all about diving into life, rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Was thrilled to discover I am really a dog person. I probably would incude cats except for my allergic reaction to them. They know and insist on getting my attention. I’ve learned to pet them with gloves on and keep them away from my face and we can get along. But I raised a full grown collie from birth and fell in love. She was not my first dog but she stole my heart. Everything we are led to believe Lassie could do, my Kippy could. I’m grateful I had her because she taight our family unconditional love.
Dogs actually are the most incredible little beings of unconditional love, that I wish everyone has the opportunity to have an experience of owning one someday in their lives, Roslyn. I love your story about Kippy, as I can “hear” in your words what an incredible experience you had with her. I don’t have much experience with collies, other than through Lassie, so it is wonderful to hear that your experience confirmed how amazing the breed is.
Cats are so incredibly interesting to me. This is my first time ongoing experience with them and I also thought I was allergic to them. Somehow, I have either outgrown my allergy, or have adopted now that they inhabit my life and home. They constantly make me smile and I am delighted I have had the experience of cats thanks to my daughter. Appreciate you sharing your dog and cat memories with us all here!
I love animals, Beverley and am an ardent animal rights person. So the answer to your main question is both but am partial to dogs having had 4 generations of dachshunds in my house who traveled the world with me and even now, the family pet is a Cock a Tzu by the name of Coco. There is something about dogs and their waggy tails. 🙂
I did have a cat as a 4 year old who scratched my face because I accidentally opened a cupboard where she had hidden her newborn kittens. Even though Kitty did not mean it and I had no intention of troubling her, The scars faded with time but I learned an important lesson about cats in general – treat them with respect and don’t encroach on their marked territory.
Love reading about your experiences with both cats and dogs, Vatsala. It seems you are definitely a committed dog person and that was what I believed I was until I had the experience of these two absolutely delightful cats who are living with me. Since I wrote this post, the cats have become even dearer to my heart and I honestly love both cats and dogs equally. Also, like you, I am a big animal rights person and particularly a stand for elephants who I seem to have a great attraction to and empathy with.
It is interesting to hear people’s experiences with cats and I hear you about treating them with respect for their boundaries, as I find that they are much more likely to choose their times when they want love and affection and then are standoffish when they prefer to be alone. Interesting and very entertaining creatures for me. Thanks again for sharing your animal experiences here.
Great blog! I’ve found every cat has a different personality, it wasn’t until I got my own cat I really learned to appreciate them more. I always found most friends cats tend to do their own thing!
Thanks for reading Brendalyn. Yes, I would have thought that I would never be a cat person either, yet somehow, I absolutely love these two new cat men visitors to my home. Interesting observation on other people’s cats, as I imagine that they do interact more with their owners than with guests. Thanks for joining in the conversation here!
What a wonderful blog!! I am happy to tell you I am happy! If you were to ask me what I wish, it would NOT be to be happier, because I’m really very content (and happy) where I am in life. I do wish I knew a lot of financial things earlier (like saving more money, paying myself decent wages, investing more wisely, etc)., and 3 words that Valerie Bertonelli recently said: “Don’t Eat That!”.
I can hear the happiness from you all the time Tina! It’s so wonderful to meet someone who has a joy for life and loves to express it too. It is never to late to learn about new things in life and sounds like your openness has you listening and absorbing whatever you need to know when it shows up for you. Love that line “Don’t Eat That.” Takes many of us a lifetime to finally internalize that one for ourselves.
I love dogs and I love cats…animals are awesome creatures…living with regret sucks.
So great to hear from people who love both dogs and cats, Yvonne! Animals truly are awesome creatures. And yes, living with regrets is not really a healthy way to live.
Glad I could be your fourth commenter on your new blog. It appears you are always discovering new things about yourself. Good for you! If you would like any help with the new blog (font ideas, etc.) don’t hesitate to contact me. I work with bloggers every day.
Yes, Martha we all are in the process of “human becoming” and part of this journey, is learning daily about ourselves. Appreciate your offer to help with new ideas for strengthen my blog and value your experience in this area. Thanks again for joining in the conversation.
It’s so true to give things a chance. I dont like cats or any animals very much, but my wife does. We just moved into a new house with a lake in the back… and I never knew how much I would enjoy ‘nature’ and all the ducks and birds coming to visit everyday.
It’s an interesting observation of human nature, Mike, that we sometimes form a preconceived notion about something before we personally even try it. Glad you have someone in your life who loves cats and dogs and getting back to nature in the way you describe it, is also wonderful.
As we discussed earlier, to allow preconceived notions to distort our decision-making process can lead to missing out on something wonderful! (Including the head butts of a loving kitty!)
Love that you have also shared how you overcame your “allergy” to cats and have opened your heart and home to the loving “head butts” of your two cats. Cats can be incredibly entertaining and offer much joy to their owners and for those who think they are “not a cat person”, I can only suggest they at least give them a try. Thanks for visiting and your supportive comments too.
I always thought I was a dog person. But about 10 years ago. my daughter wanted a cat for Christmas. Since then, Mrs. Claws won me over with her calming presence. She’s taught me not narrow my preferences. I agree with you: try it before you knock it.
It is an interesting thing, Gina. I always thought I was a dog person too. These two cat men have won my heart and offered so much love and entertainment. Mrs. Claws sounds like a wonderful addition to your family and I agree, cats can bring a very calming presence into our lives. Glad you liked the lesson in this piece: always try something before you knock it. Thanks for visiting and commenting.